Going Crazy
by Cupid's Jinx
Summary: Set In New Moon. We all know that Bella hated listening to music during her ‘Dark Ages’, but what was it that finally pushed her over the edge? ONESHOT


Summary: Set during New Moon

**Summary****: **_**Set during New Moon. We all know that Bella hated listening to music during her 'Dark Ages', but what was it that finally pushed her over the edge? **_

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own any of the characters used in this, I merely borrowed them for a short space of time. I also do not own either of the songs named, though I would suggest you listen to them, any of Melanie's songs are fabulous.**

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**Bella's POV**

I was listening to the radio as I was driving to the Newton's when 'Beautiful People' by Melanie Safka came on, and was immediately reminded of _him_. I changed stations quickly, and relaxed as I heard the DJ talking.

"This next song is on request for Jessica, for Mike, both in the dreary town of Forks, Going Crazy by Natalie Imbrulia..."

A soft almost, piano like intro started, and I knew it would be a love song, but before I could change station again, the lyrics began, and I was frozen into place.

_Ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold  
My life just hasn't been the same ohh baby, nooo  
When I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go  
I just broke down (down) _

That was true. I recalled the hours after he left, and shuddered.

_Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice  
Cuz the feeling that I feel within  
No other man would ever make me feel so right  
Its nice to smile when I get your phone call at night  
But I'd rather have you here with me, right next to me  
I miss the way you hold me tight_

I _would_ sacrifice anything just to be with him again, he was the only one who could make me whole again, only he could fill that void.

Though I didn't expect him to call, he was still there at night, in my dreams. They were partially happy dreams, I only woke up screaming because I knew that I could never, ever have that again. Never be able to feel his cool embrace, his heart stopping kisses, restricted though they were, it was still him, and I, together.

_I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch  
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much  
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny  
For you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything_

_That's right baby I'm going crazy  
I need to be your lady  
I've been thinking lately  
That you and me, yes we can make it  
Just ride with me, roll with me I'm in love with you baby x2_

I couldn't _help_ but be in love with him, I couldn't – wouldn't – forget him, even if I refused to allow myself to _think_ of him.

_Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel  
From the moment that I met you its been so damn real  
My heart seems to skip another beat  
Every time we speak, I can't believe I feel so weak  
Tell me that you really need me and you want me and you miss me  
And you love me I'm your lady  
I'll be around waiting for you I'll put it down be the woman for you_

I sighed, if only _that_ would be true. I haven't heard from any of them since...

And yet, I knew that, if he ever should return and ask for my forgiveness, I would. I would take him back without a single thought.

Though, knowing his looks, his charm, he'd already have a 'distraction'. Many, probably. All of them...like him. Like his family...inhumanly beautiful, and not at all fragile. Or boring, plain, _human_.

_I'm falling so deep for you crazy over for you  
I'm calling, calling out to you what am I going to do?  
It's true, no fronting  
Its you and no other I can no longer go on without you  
I'll just break down (down)_

_  
I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch  
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much  
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny  
For you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything_

_That's right baby I'm going crazy  
I need to be your lady  
I've been thinking lately  
That you and me, yes we can make it  
Just ride with me, roll with me I'm in love with you baby_

I couldn't take it any longer. I pulled over onto the hard shoulder, killed the engine and began attacking the radio set, screaming at it.

I couldn't stop it, it wouldn't stop.

Tears were streaming down my face as I gouged at the offending machine.

Even after my fingers had turned bloody and gnarled, I still tore at it, not resting until it was out.

I had finally wrenched it out, the remnants spread across the floor of my truck.

Satisfied, I continued on my journey to work, I was later than usual, but still earlier than I was actually meant to start.

Mrs. Newton came rushing out in her heels, "Izzy, darling! I thought something had happened to you, you aren't usually this- Oh my!"

She was staring in shock at my hands, caked in my own blood.

"Sorry, Mrs. Newton, I just got into some trouble, is all."

She ushered me into the store, "No worries at all, Izzy, no worries at all. Let's just get you cleaned up, yes? Mike! Go get the First Aid kit!"

Mike came in a few minutes later, confusion colouring his face until he saw me.

His face contorted into horror, "What happened?"

"Never mind that, Michael. Just give me the box." Mrs. Newton hushed him.

I just sat in silence, unmoving, as my boss cleaned up my hands.

I hate music.

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**A/N: Hm, don't know if I like this much. I didn't quite know how to end it.**

**Review?**

**Lyra**

**-x-**


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